5 to 1.

Having a baby girl is making me reflect back on my childhood a lot.

My mom is amazing and I love her. Mom, this post isn't about you, it's about how I'm nutso.

had to throw in that little disclaimer. Because seriously, my mom is all things classy and wonderful.

I went on a ridiculous road trip yesterday with my husband who will drive ridiculous distances to purchase fine firearms. So we had a lot of chatty time. I was telling him how chunky I've gotten, and he disagreed, and I realized that basically--I've thought of myself as "fat" since...like...7th grade. ?!

Isn't that nuts?

And so I made a commitment right then and there to never, ever say that I think I am fat again. Because a: it's not helpful, and b: little ears are listening, and what if those little ears start thinking crazy things between them, like that she is fat when she is totally normal??!

I mean, I think I made it like 10 minutes before saying something again about how I'm fat, but I was super aware of it. I learned this trick in my student teaching--you have to say five positive things for every one negative thing. It works like magic--like, if you have one student who is bouncing off the walls, you say "wow, Susie, I LOVE how you are following my directions to...." and pick four other students doing four other awesome things .... instead of saying, "whoa there, little cowpoke, do as I say!"

I use it in my marriage. Don't tell Ty. For every nag I first kick myself and then try to come up with five original things that I love about him that I pepper him with throughout the evening. I need to do better at it

I do it with Isla. If I tell her how cute she is 1 time, I pick five ways she is so smart. Because research shows that girls get complimented for their cuteness (and I mean, who am I kidding, she is ADORABLE) way more than they do for their brains. But that's not a message I want her to get bombarded with--that her face is better than what's in her head. And I know she can't necessarily understand what I'm telling her, but it's a good habit nonetheless so I don't care if it sounds nutso when I tell her that she has excellent fine motor skills or that I love how she is always figuring out how things work. Like drawers and cupboards for example.

So I did it with myself. For that one negative fat comment, I had this in-my-head dialogue where I had to say five nice and true things. So I said (mentally) : self...you have very pretty hair. you are an awesome teacher. you are a very devoted mama. high five on getting the kitchen cleaned because I know how much you hate washing dishes and also that not having a dishwasher makes you want to die, and finally...you have great shoes.

And I felt better.

So I think everyone should do this. Really. Because women are so mean to themselves and it's lame. So stop. Be kind.

5-1. Try it. For an hour, even. It'll be awesome.